“I should really talk to a man,” I
think as I walk towards the steam room/ sauna after yoga. “The gym is the best
place to find a new guy. There’s no sense in dating anyone who gets winded too
easily. ”
A really handsome man about to
enter the sauna sees me, turns around to walk, then looks back over his
shoulder to look at me again.
“I hate him. I fucking hate him. I
can hear his thoughts from across the room,” I think. “I’m going to the steam
room so there’s no chance of him talking to me.”
Obviously, I’m conflicted.
A few weeks ago, Hannah and I went
to Surrender Nightclub on a Wednesday, and we had to fight our way out through
a drunken, horny, tourist grope tunnel at 3 a.m.. Men were physically grabbing
at us and trying to block our path.
One guy told me to go kill myself
when I told him I wasn’t interested in sleeping with him.
I'd like to find a new man, but I’m
too sick of men, and a bit disgusted, to want to talk to any of them, which
makes finding a new one difficult.
Hell, this is a real problem.
Maybe the guy who taught the spin
class I took before my yoga class tonight would work?
During the class he told us all
that he’s single. He has a four-year-old girl he loves a lot, and he is not
together with the mother, but they’re on good terms. Also, he implied that he’s
lonely.
I’ve never shared any of this
information with any of my yoga classes.
“Inhale your arms up. Real quick, I
cry myself to sleep at night sometimes. Exhale, swan dive forward. I just want
someone to cuddle me. Inhale gazing up.”
He was cute and does cardio. Maybe
I’ll talk to him next week.
I figure the gym would be a good
place to find a new Las Vegas boy because I work out like it’s my job… oh yeah.
It is my job. I work out a lot. And I like men who have the same addictions as
me.
I should talk to a man at my gym.
But I’m always so rude whenever a man tries to talk to me at the gym, that I
simply can’t bring myself to do it. I always think, “Hey buddy, what about my
no makeup, yoga matt, and ponytail made you think I wanted you to bug me?"
Me approaching a guy would throw
off the whole dynamic. He’s supposed to approach me so I can be all cold and
mean and shit and then slowly warm up to him after he’s persisted long enough.
What happened to meeting guys the
old fashioned way? You know, dating a guy I kind of like and then meeting his
awesome friend I really like and then ditching him to start dating his friend?
Time in the steam room: 10 minutes
Men talked to: Zero
