July 22: Sauna

I'm visiting Pat and Ryan for a vacation. We all love music and dancing, and that's why we're friends.

I met Pat at a Pretty Lights concert in Las Vegas. Then, I met Ryan when all three of us were at Ultra Music Festival in Miami. Then, they came to Vegas for a weekend, and I moved into the Hard Rock with them, and Pat and I stole money from Buddha so we could buy a bottle of vodka.

Ryan is gone for the day listening to music and dancing, but I'm lazy and Pat's saving money, and we stay home.

Pat and I go to the apartment's sauna. Guest appearance sauna. The sauna is in the women's bathroom of the apartment complex. The one in the men's room is broken. I go in first, check the coast is clear, and then Pat joins me.

Neither of us are sweating yet. It feels like we're burning in a tanning bed.

"Here! This will make it better!" Pat leaves to shower quickly, right outside of the sauna, and comes back. Now he's all glistening and pretty. I want to be glistening and pretty too. I  shower and return.

It's a very small sauna, claustrophobic if I look ahead, but really good if I look toward Pat.

"Let's meditate!" says Pat. Pat reads Today in the Steam Room and knows that the sauna is meant to be quiet meditation time.

"Okay!" I explain to Pat how I meditate. We sit quietly focusing on our breathing. Pat starts laughing about a thought he's had and that ends the mediation. Good. It's exhausting to focus on nothing.

Pat turns off the light, and it's very dark now. I lay down and pretend I'm dead, entombed in wood and heat.

We hear a woman enter the bathroom. She's coughing - a smoker's cough. I listen to her pee. I hope she doesn't take a poo. I wonder if Pat could be arrested for being a pervert - hiding in the dark of the women's room sauna listening to a coughing woman peeing.

"I'm really hot," Pat says. "I'm going to get out now."

We leave to listen to music.

Time: 20 minutes